Smile, and You'll Be Just Fine. :)

I woke up twisting in pain this morning. The monthly visitor has arrived. Thoughts began racing in my head. I needed to get up. I needed to start studying. I needed to do requirements. But I just knew that I wouldn't be able to do that. Today was going to be a difficult one for me. My first days are my worst days ever- pain, tears, mood swings, a pool of emotions- everything rolled into one. And I wasn't ready to face it yet. I didn't want to. I went back to sleep, denying myself of the nightmare I was going to face in the next 24 hours. Believe me, I am soo not exaggerating.

Anyway.. it was noontime when I finally started my day. When my tita saw me, she asked if I was okay. I smiled and told her it was my first day today. She knew what I felt, so she offered me brunch, we ate together. After a while, my cramps began. I hurled, screamed. I lied facedown, then back up, I folded my knees, went into fetus position, stayed still, but nothing worked. It hurt like madness. I tried to go to sleep again, but the pain wouldn't go away, so I got up, and ignored the hurt, took my modules in Chem and started reading. And yes, I couldn't concentrate.I felt my face going pale, my hands were shaking. I was in so much pain I just needed to scream. And before I even got the chance to do it, crap! (viewer discretion is required) I threw up. Right on the living room floor. Arrgh. I headed straight for the toilet and I let it all out, until there was nothing else I could throw up. Down the toilet went my brunch. Eew. Yes, it was a messy and gross thing. Haha! I bet some of you are even barfing right now. LOL! But after that I felt better. It did feel good. :D Haha. I took another bath. I took another nap. And then I woke up again. It's like I woke up in a new day! My torture has finally ended. Hahahaha. Ooh yea! Thank God, I survived!

Anyway, we participated in the Earth Hour Campaign. :) Twas fun seeing the whole city in pitch black. Happy happy happy! I just needed to share my experience. It was my first time to hurl on my first day.  LOL! Ang saya kaya! :)) Oh well. Gotta go, I still have a lot to catch up on. Chemistry is making me really really shaky right now..

Oh, and yeah. He replied. Yesssss! :)

Today is my Lucky Day. :)

One:

I saw a total of 23 people wearing stripes in shool today, like, in only two hours. :))

Two:

I believe the cutest couple.. is the *PURPLE* couple. (hello pink and black ranger!)

Three:

I finally realized.. how important it is for me.. to learn how to use CHOPSTICKS!

Four:

What a flirt! I love him.. :))

Five. 

Lea to Richi: (thinking.. processing) "Alam na niya! na crush ka niya!". LOL.

Six:

He just smiled when someone called out her name.

Seven:

Lea to Richi: (thinking.. processing) "Alam na niya! na crush ka niya!". LOL.

Eight:

Nakita ko ang araw sa gabi. Panalo! (hello doll!)

Nine:

I got to do my evil plan. I'll sooo miss the POWER RANGERS.

Ten:

"So, today's the last day.. of our class together", said the fauv to the fair. :)

Eleven:

Happy Birthday Louie! celebration. McDo galore!

Twelve:

I'm gonna buy myself a Red Ribbon Cake someday. LOL!

Thirteen:

Visited my Hard Love in Powerbooks.

Fourteen:

Yes, I'm a bookworm. I can't do anything about it.

Fifteen:

I learned that someone died.. in someone's dorm. Sad, and creepy.

Sixteen:

I learned that someone got held up.. and he didn't care. :)

Seventeen:

Some things in life are free. Like beauty. Hahaha!

Eighteen:

Accessorize me. Visited my bando. Again. Please, wait for me!

Nineteen:

I'm getting the sweet tooth lately. Sucks.

Twenty:

The friends I love are those who will be there for you.. no matter what.. as long as you treat them to fries. :))

Twenty-One:

Inference about Tomasians: Walang Tokyo-Tokyo sa kanila. Dumayo pa sila dito.

Twenty-Two:

I should stop going against my instincts. According to Jek, follow the first answer that you gave.

Twenty-Three:

I need to know the lyrics to MAD. The LSS in my head is crazy. :))

Only Girls (or Gays) Would Know..

the chem lab departamental exam was depressing. really, really depressing. so charm, richi, tina and i decided to chill at, well, where else? Robinson's Place Manila, like we had a choice. considering the heat and the depression that made our minds and hearts heavy, Rob had always been our tower of refuge and strength (sort of). LOL!

we had lunch at kenny rogers for two reasons: one, cause doll Charm inexplicably had the need to go vegan, and two, cause one of our "stalkees" were  having lunch there too. (i won't say which of us was his stalker.. LOL!) anyway, lunch was great, except for charm who i believe had the hardest time to take in the vegan spree her parents had imposed on her. haha! we saw that guy from indayog btw (like i don't know his name. LOL!), with his blockmates. they were meeting right outside Kenny Rogers, and we were so hoping they'd come in and have lunch with us. hahaha! too bad the place was full, they went to eat at wendy's. i am so digging his haircut btw, and it was nice seeing him not wearing another ridiculous hiphop outfit. :D

anyway, before mother hen and i headed home, we stopped by Accessorize (this made me forget my depression all of a sudden). omg! the moment i looked through the windows of the store, my heart totally skipped a beat. like when a baby girl sees her mother for the first time in a long time. LOL! but seriously, the moment i recognized the accesorize label, i was almost ready to hyperventilate out of excitement. i was squealing irrationally! LOL! the last time i entered an Accessorize store was two years ago, in Bahrain. haha!

we tried on their caps and hats of all sorts- berets, baker boys, fedoras, those winter caps with earmuffs, stetsons, what a sight! we took a pic of ourselves by the mirror but then their sales lady (who was obviously not doing her job well cause she was only applying makeup on her face) told us taking pictures was prohibited. but i fell in love with this one black headband which had like a gold-plaited chain wrapped around it. it was really pretty. i'm looking for it online and i find out it's not called a headband anymore, instead, a bando. :)) lol! since when did hair accessories invent thier own vocabulary? haha. but then it costs like, 450 pesos, so i thank God i didn't go impulse buying! :) they had scarfs and bags and purses and wallets and all kinds of stuff too. it was just too overwhelming i had to rush outside the store before i got my hands on that bando and headed straight for the counter. LOL!

so, yeah.. i kind of thought i would be indifferent to these kinds of things cause really, i thought i lost interest in those kinds of things already. it's nice to know i still have that soft spot for cutesy girly stuff inside me. LOL!

to mother hen, we are soo coming back to that store when my wallet miraculously gets loaded full. hopefully before the next sem starts! haha. you are gonna get your hat and i am so gonna get that bando. :))

Good Things Happen When You're 18.. :)

no, i take that back. it didn't turn out good, it turned out awesome. :)

awww.. and i am soo friggin proud of myself! hahaha.

FLYLEAF, not so fully alive.

early morning, like around 5 a.m., i woke up to one of the songs of flyleaf.. it was weird, cause naturally i'd hear flyleaf from my phone, or my laptop, but i was shocked to find out that it was booming from april's cell.. i love flyleaf like, with all my heart, but man, i needed some sleep, and flyleaf sure isn't one to listen to when you want that to happen. :( so, i stayed up till 5, not forgetting that i slept at around two a.m.. i couldn't get a decent hour of sleep anymore. i have that really bad case of insomnia already, which totally sucks cause i lie in bed trying and trying to sleep but all i end up doing is stay up a little more and *gasp*! i'm so going like a chatterbox and totally not making sense anymore.

CHEM, be nice.

so, going back to my hell-stricken, angel-smitten day, maaaaaan, i have to say, today was a blast! the best thing ever in my organic chemistry life has happened to me today. I PASSED MY THIRD DEPEX! lol. i know right? i'm like this little kid boasting to the whole wide world that she finally learned how to tie her shoes... yeah, it's past my due. i mean, i shouldve passed two exams ago, but i never strived so hard so, now im learning my long unlearned lesson. :)

TARDY in CLASS, but not for potential blushers.

enough of the eccentricity (is there even such a word?). i was late for chem lec despite my coming too early to school. i had my reasons! one, i wanted to do a quick read on that poem i plan to use for my artwork (which i will eventually post on this blog), and two, err.. i was hoping to see "him" today. *blush* no, i didn't get to see him, but i did manage to visit the library and take a look at my poem.. which explains my tardiness in chem, and my missing one of the most essential topics for the fourth exam. noooooooo! i am not at all your GC student, it's just that, sigh. whenever i come to class late and then i miss the first topics my professor has to say, i do not, no matter how hard i try, understand any single word that comes out from his mouth anymore. and so, there goes another one of my worthless lectures. :(

STUTTERING, unoriginal.

then, i was a mess in P.I. 100 today! lol. i kept stuttering and i had noooo friggin idea what i was saying. everytime i shut my mouth, ma'am would repeat what i had just said and explained it in a rather, easier way to understand. haha! those four minutes were the most embarrasing and the most torturous minutes of my life. but it was good torture, it was nice to know that i still had that fear to speak in public, that i was still, your awkward teenage kid talking to a bunch of experienced, mature, and wise old folks.

oh this is thaddie! he has nothing to do with my blog but.. he's sooo cute! that's why i decided to post his pic online. for no apparent reason.. lol! i lovvvim! i took care of him btw, for like two hours or so. he's such a sweet baby! he's R.A.'s though. wonder if he's got a wife already.. :)

CRUSHED TO PIECES, not so likely.

but it could have been! i dropped my laptop. damn that guy i saw wasn't even good-looking enough! he may have that curse though, of bringing bad luck to other people, whenever he passes by, you never know.. sigh. okay, so it was my fault. i was carrying my laptop in a stupid manner, and i've got no one else to blame but myself. my cd drive got broken, like all the bits and pieces fell off, and now even my all-knowing computer expert can't put it back together again. goodbye, pirated DVDs. goodbye, kyle xy. i am soo gonna miss you. goodbye, one tree hill, beloved. *sniff sniff*

BARANGAY ID! manila girl, baby!

i needed an ID with an address on it so i could avail of this internet connection. so i had to walk all the way to our barangay hall just to get a ready-to-write-on ID. funny, cause i thought it would take longer than usual, only to find out that it was a piece of really hard paper with the mayor's picture and the barangay's label on it. that was it! that was my ID, non-laminated, non-computerized. not even signed with a pretty signature.. lucky they even accepted it at customer service. :)

all these goes back, to how proud i am of myself. :) weee! independence is really responsibility, but with responsibility is MY GREAT PRIDE.. good things happen when you're 18. :)

p.s. there's this lss stuck in my head. its by ida maria, "i like you so much better when you're naked..!: the lyrics aren't nice at all. well, maybe it is, but they say you only get to know a person better when he's bare, cause that's when he's most vulnerable. if you're into catchy and well, cutesy tunes, it just might be a timely song for you. for a while though, it gets boring if it keeps playing in your head, like right now..

Set High on A Pedestal.

THE TALK:

so, i was talking to one of my girlfriends today and we were talking about guys, obviously it's already become a natural thing to do when we get together. haha! anyway, we were talking things through and then she recommended me to look for my crush's profile, in short. go on another stalking adventure online.. :) and so i did. i came across a million profiles who had the same name as my crush had but eventually i found what i was looking for. hahaha!

THE PROFILE:

meeeeen. he is so into boy scouting. really, i dont mind but, if he like, if its like, one of his oh-so-huge joys in life, then. it might be a turn-off. still, i continued trudging on his site till i saw, he's freakin rich! he got to be in London. and who knows where else he's already been in!? it's kind of frustrating, when you know he's been to places, that as of now are only in your dreams..

THE BOYS:

if you think this blog is all about crushes, think again. it's also about guys who i wouldn't really taken notice of, but due to charmagne's statements, they might stand a teeny bit of a chance. lol, here are some few.

THE STATEMENTS:

that made me laugh out loud cause they're so true. and im quoting doll for all these,

• "haha ang funny ng mga guys na di kagwapuhan... kasi they have all the guts to tell girls na may crush siya sayo.."
• "kaya siguro common yung maganda yung girl tapos di kagwapuhan yung bf"
• "theory ko, pag maganda yung girl, nahihiya yung may itsurang guys na manligaw or something... kasi nga naman pag nabasted sila, mawawasak lang naman ang kanilang ego!"
• "eh pag di kagwapuhan yung guy, sus, walang ego ego! go lang ng go!"

CRITICAL THINKING:

now those are perfectly true! :) it may not be entirely applicable for all relationships but it's the common case. you see girls who are better off with someone better and you think to yourself, "how the hell did she fall for a guy (looking) like him?" and then you just shrug off thhe question cause, it's freaky. and funny all the same. :) anyhow. they are evil thoughts. i agree :)) and now that they're all out in the open, im sorry my dear boys who think they're soo hott. i can't blame you though cause some girls actually fall for you, and i cant do anything about that.

PEDESTAL:

and then it got me thinking why i still don't have a boyfriend till now. because, i dont wanna end up like any of those girls. :)) that's why my ideal guy is set high on a pedestal, cause even i can't reach him yet. i don't even think i'm going to be able to find anyone like him. :)

IDEAL GUY:

So im listing a FEW of my ideal guy requirements for two reasons. One, I'm bored and I've got nothing to do. Two, so that when a guy moves in on me, I can turn him down easily by reminding him of this list. Lol, Evil-ness.

• plays basketball/football
• plays the guitar/drums/keyboard.
• loves music
• loves swimming
• takes control
• keeps his cool
• can annoy me
• can make me laugh
• dresses well
• sings/dances well
• loves to write
• is spontaneous
• is not romantic/corny
• watches TV
• knows how to cook
• reads the news or watches it
• has a "barkada"
• earns a lot of money
• saves it
• is a real man
• doesn't play
• doesn't flirt back
• is smart enough
• is not mean to animals
• is a gentleman
• keeps his promise
• usually doesn't promise
• knows how to drive
• can teach me how to drive
• doesn't curse
• doesn't smoke
• knows how to kiss me
  
• knows how to please me
  
• is not extravagant
• spends his money well
• manages his time well
• is a bum like me
• knows how to work hard
• smiles at me when i need it
• encourages me to do my best
• knows my favorite food
• loves God more than me
• loves my family

more to come soon. :) and it does sound like a list of who i wanna marry and not who i wanna date. lol! i think, the ones i've written here are pretty much common things. there aren't anything weird of far out like what i was expecting to be writing. LOL. maybe theyre all in my head. :)

THE REALIZATION:

if i wanted a boyfriend, i could have gotten one ages ago. but, the problem is not the guy, it's me. im the one who's too stubborn. and everything i wrote on that list, i must be able to do or have first before i can be confident to enter into one. well, i dont mind being stubborn. as far as im concerned, boyfriends are just temporary happiness. they dont last. the pain, on the other hand does. so why settle for temporary joy when you can have everlasting joy and peace from Him? for me, He is enough. more than anything.

and that, is the story of my life.. :)

I want you so much..

Truth is, I dont want anything so much at all.

I'm actually glad that I'm not craving for anything at all! This is the time to celebrate. Cause, I'm actually satisfied and contented with what I have :)

I just turned 18 early on this month, and I'm proud to say that, I had fun on my birthday. :D

Here's the links to some pictures on that day. Lol! (I don't have a camera..)
http://nicavictoria.multiply.com/photos/album/48/Happy_birthday_Lea_
http://denica017.multiply.com/photos/album/18/sis_18

My birthday = Happiness. though it had sooo much to do with boys and crushes, the fact that there were friends who would actually be there with me and let me know that I could always, always count on them really made my day. So I couldn't ask for anything more..

I've never really based my moods on material things. But I have, in most cases, done that exactly with my acads..

ORGCHEM:
I used to say that you were my life now. But, I believe I've reached the point wherein I can accept my destiny (whatever it may be) with you. Be it pass or fail, I don't want to stress myself over you. I know, for others, this may seem like a really big deal. I mean, I used to think that way too. But, as I've said.. Maybe, just maybe I've accepted my weakness. All I can do is turn it into strength. No matter what everyone else says, I choose to let go. And let God take over.

DIGICAM + IPOD + CAR + DRIVING LICENSE:
They can wait. Really, they can. Haha.
I told you I'm not much of a material girl.. They're merely things, that can be gained, and then lost too. :) I heard one of my friends lost her digicam and it was.. the cam I was dreaming of. SONY CYBERSHOT TOUCH SCREEN. And she even knew who took it, but she can't get it back.. Sigh. Moving on, nothing has been said about me getting an ipod or anything like it for that matter.. I was just assuming that I'd get one if only I asked really really hard for it. LOL. But then, yeah. Let's just all leave that to chance. :)) And my driver's license I'm too busy to be working on it now.. Though I really really want to learn how to drive completely right away, it would be sooo much better if I know a car came after my *DL*. And that's not happening anytime soon..

NEW PLACE TO STAY:
Lol. I'm so fed up with my tiny tiny room.. It really is becoming too small for the three of us roommates. Sigh. I actually already found another unit on the fifth floor in the same building, and it only costs 14 thousand. Its got two bedrooms and is really spacious, and the best part about it is its so freakin' cheap! Not like all the other condominium units we've seen :)) I soo wanna transfer there already. Lol.

SUMMER:
This I can't wait to happen :)) The last days of the semester are the busiest, saddest and most toxic days of the semester. But, what happens after all this is the most awaited. Yeahhhh! Really, I'm itching to! Maybe this is what I want so much. :]

BOYFRIEND:
Now this is funny. I bet so many people believe that this is just a joke. And actually it is. It's just that, sometimes pressure gets to you and you think to yourself so many people end up marrying the person they met while they were in college. Ehhh.. I'm ni college and still. Lol. I shouldn't be in a hurry. After all, I haven't found anyone who I want to spend the rest of my life with yet anyway. :))

IN WISDOM, IN STATURE AND IN FAVOR WITH GOD AND MEN:
I want to be back in His arms. I don't want to run away anymore. Sometimes, it's just really hard. Especially when you don't feel like, that He's there. I mean, you know He is, but you can't feel it. It's probably cause I want to feel something tangible. Like, I can feel it, I can hear Him.. But, I realized that sometimes, you do things cause you believe, even when you don't see anything. That's what I should believe. That's what I should do, and then, God will make His presence felt. Keep believing Laeng. Stop running away. You know He loves you more than anything. You know You do too.

I remembered my only wish on my birthday. I asked God for a change of heart. And now, He just reminded me of that wish, and He promises to fulfiill it. But I need to believe that He can, and that I should work for anything I believe in. So, rejoice! Be glad. Though the sorrow may last for the night, but the joy comes in the morning.

One of my Wishes Granted!

And that is, to be able to eat at T.G.I. Fridays! Ooh. Lovely lovely.

I know, for other people it's not that much of a deal, but to me it actually means a lot. Cause, I've always wanted to eat there.. But money constraints. (im an unaccompanied minor, meaning no parents at home) So, there was no chance. No chance at all that I'd be fending my own allowance on a one-time treat to T.G.I. F. So, MArch 15 was a really, really HAPPY day for me :)

It was Jomel's treat to Friday's I think I was even the first one to urge him to treat us there. Lol! I'm known for being too thick-faced when it comes to people I become close with. (beware my almost close friends.. you're my next target! haha) Anyway, Jomel didn't even have hesitations, which, honestly is pretty annoying cause he's soo darn rich. :))

When we got in to the restaurant, what else could you expect from a person like me? NO. I did not cry! Hahaha. I think my heart was breaking into pieces though, cause of happiness it couldn't contain itself. (LOL! talk about stop being immature) The menus they gave me were really, really overwhelming. You know, it was a happy feeling. Like, the first time I glanced over the pages, there was that excitement and enjoyment and pride that I actually was sitting there, not dreaming, and getting all this FOR FREE! I mean, what else could I ask for? Hahaha.

I ordered Tortilla Crusted Fish. I was drowning in pork and beef and chicken the whole week. So I was really happy when our orders came. They were huge and looked really yummy :) My first bite was ecstacy. The food was delicious. They served us desserts too. Which was fun also though I didn't get the strawberry parfait I liked. LOL! Was no biggie though. I got my wish, why ask for more?! Hahaha.

Hey guys, you know what!??, someone shouted at the back of the room. He went on, :It's Sir John's Burthday! LOL. That was a really funny sappy moment. The crew sang Jom a birthday song (which we enjoyed.. thoroughly) and served him another birthday dessert, which we all shared. Oh btw, we shared everything. From the appetizers to tehe main dish to drinks to sauce and parfaits. Super fun. :)) Please, please do not get me used to that kind of lifestyle once again. Hahaha!


After eating, my tummy bulged. I looked preggy! Hahaha. :) But it was all good. It made up for not eating bigtime on my own birthday treat (and for those who were there, we all know why,, hahaha!). Sigh. March 15, it' s definitely a day I'll never forget. Thanks to JOMEL, APRIL, LOUIE, JEK AND RICHI for the good times. Keep em rollin! :D


**that day was also memorable for something else, it happened years ago na. But, i still remember and get *kilig* all over when i reminisce. :)) Haha. Toodles!

Imposssible Work In Progress

This will be my official blog from now on. I'm deleting all my other blogs just for this one. :) Don't worry, I still have copies of the entries in my two previous blogs.. though I'm sure no one else would want to read it. LOL!

I'm keeping my Multiply blog though. :) Cause, people talk to me there. And, I realized I've become so immature on my FS blog. High school days are soo funny. So im hiding them and dumping them into my laptop, where it's supposed to be.

Anyway, have fun with this blog. I'm gonna be posting some pics in here as well. :) Peace out yo.